Vital Status: Dead 💀
Fav Tracks: Interlude
Least Fav: Long Live, Life Looks Good, Countryside, Always Gonna Love You, I Love My Country, Long Time Comin’, Ain’t Worried Bout It, Beer:30, New Truck, U.S. Stronger, Life Rolls On
Jesus, god where to start. Florida Georgia Line is out with their 5th studio album and they keep finding ways to talk about beer, trucks, and a the one thing America needs right now…….. an American country anthem. Life Rolls On has 16 tracks and runs over 43 minutes and in this runtime Florida Georgia Line manages to say absolutely nothing. A lot of the instrumentation here features your usual country rock tropes and pulls from some hip-hop influences.
Beginning with “Long Live” somehow within the first 3 lines Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley just couldn’t wait to mention trucks and beer. I guess why not cut right to the chase. There’s like a 5 second guitar solo that’s so lame and overall the songs just a big hoorah to country life. It even gets really exciting when they mention Walmart parking lots.
Following that up we get “Life Looks Good” that moves the listener nowhere because the song doesn’t progress into anything. Florida Georgia Line is really stressing their country twang here and it’s about sitting on a car with your girl….. that’s it. The guitar playing is also not that great.
“Countryside” is a slower song and we start to see the hip-hop influence with cringy adlibs of (yup) and (damn) to start. Their flow on this track is so boring and trying way to hard along with the most mundane drums. The guitar playing here does somewhat have a spark to it.
At this point this album is already running out of topics to talk about. The next two songs take up the rest of Florida Georgia Lines subject matter. “Always Gonna Love You” is about how he’s always going to love this girl. The biggest problem in the relationship is her not showing up on time, but don’t worry because he still loves her
Like the power of a throttle when it’s open wide
I’m sure you can guess what “I Love My Country” is about. We get some rock guitars here and a big dick suck to America. After reading the lyrics I’m not even sure what he likes about America besides food and drinks.
“Hard To Get Into Heaven” and “Long Time Comin” are just songs about sex. One has a super dead anti climatic chorus with a low squeaky refrain that just sounds awful. It’s about going to bed with his girl feels great. The next has some piano instrumental with some unnecessary harmonized singing and it’s about not having sex in a long time.
My favorite portion of the album is the 26 second ambient sound “Interlude” that is incredibly pointless. This flows seamlessly into “Ain’t Worried Bout It” that features this 2000s pop guitar strumming.
After this is we get some of the worst songs I’ve heard in a long time. “Beer:30” sounds just as terrible as how the title of it looks and reads. It’s a full song just about beer and even on the bridge Florida Georgia Line slightly realizes his song is going on to long.
I thought it couldn’t get any worse then that, but, somehow the song “New Truck” manages to top “Beer:30”. I mean the only way to follow up a terrible song about beer is to right a terrible song about a truck. The poppy production is so bad and annoying it should be on the lamest kids show you’ve ever seen. Why did they think this was a good idea.
After this the rest of the record just goes in one ear and out the other. “Eyes Closed” and “Second Guessing” are these slower love songs. Just imagine terrible Ed Sheeran tracks redone in country style.
I guess Florida Georgia Line figured why not mention the U.S. again with “U.S. Stronger”. It’s quite clear at this point these guys are blatantly oblivious to anything going on in America at this point.
The finishing track “Life Rolls On” has this clappy production and a keep pushing forward attitude. Not that they give you many reasons to push forward they just say keep going. But, what stood out to me is the 2nd verse and that’s when I realized I don’t know what the fuck these guys are writing.
Drivin’ past my old house
A wreckin’ ball took it down
But I still got them memories, gotta love it
Yes, I do (Oh)
Like what the fuck does your old house have to do with anything lmao.
Life Rolls On is the perfect example for an album that literally says nothing. I could forgive it if the production wasn’t also so boring, bland, and cliche. This is just not a good album and the over simplistic views of life are just mind boggling how an artist can live in such a dull vacuum.
Albums Are Dead💀 